Who can forget Gwyneth Paltrow’s Oscar acceptance speech for her part in Shakespeare in Love at the 1999 Academy Awards? The tears, the gown, and the extra-long list of relatives. It was award-winning speech gold. Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow was once one of Hollywood’s most well-known performers, but she has since largely vanished from the big screen.

In a recent interview on SiriusXM’s Quarantined with Bruce, the Oscar winner, 45, says she discovered she didn’t “love acting that much as it turns out” when she was in her mid-twenties, fresh off an Oscar win for Shakespeare in Love.

The star’s only big-screen appearances in the last five years have been in three Marvel flicks as Pepper Potts.

Paltrow “sort of felt like, well, now who am I supposed to be?” when performing didn’t fulfill her.  “What am I driving towards?” she wondered.

She said, “Part of the shine of acting wore off, you know, being in such intense public scrutiny, being a kid who’s like living every breakup on every headline, like being criticised for everything you do, say and wear. And it’s so transitory, you’re always all over. It’s hard to plant roots.”

“Like I’m such a homebody, you know me, I like to be with my old friends and cook and squeeze my kids. Like I don’t want to be alone in a hotel room in Budapest for six weeks. Like, it’s just not who I am.”

She then went on to discuss the impact Harvey Weinstein had on her. He was her boss for several years as the president of Miramax, notably when she won the Best Actress Oscar for Shakespeare in Love in 1999. They previously collaborated on Emma, her debut picture from 1996.

“So if you compound those things with the fact that, to be totally candid, I had a really rough boss for most of my movie career at Miramax… Like, so you take all those things, you’re like, ‘I don’t know if this is really my calling.'”

Paltrow said Weinstein asked for a massage after casting her in the main role of Emma when she was only 22 years old, according to the BBC. Paltrow said Weinstein raged at her after she refused “for a long time. It was brutal.”

When Paltrow told her then-boyfriend Brad Pitt about the incident, he allegedly vowed to murder Weinstein if he did anything similar again. In the years that followed, Paltrow continued to collaborate with Miramax.

Paltrow has been candid about her recent loss of interest in acting. She told Harper’s Bazaar earlier this year that she’ll “literally never—nev-er” catch the acting bug again.

“When I was acting I really burned myself out,” she explained. “When the flywheel kicked in, I was doing three to five movies a year. I really got to the point where even the little things, like sitting in the van going to set, getting your makeup touch-ups, and everything—I really don’t know that I can bear it.”

She went on to say that the breaking point occurred when she gave birth to her first child with Martin.

“The last movie I starred in, I was pregnant with my daughter,” she recalled. “It was a movie called Proof, an adaptation of a play I did in London, and I was like, ‘I’ve had it. I can’t do this anymore.’ I had morning sickness and I was dying, and I had these five-page monologues. So when I had her, I knew I was going to take a big chunk of time off. And I’ve never starred in anything again.”

Of course, she hasn’t completely retired from acting, and fans can still catch her in films like The Politician and Iron Man.