Jesse James claims that he knew Sandra Bullock would eventually catch him cheating – and that he wanted to be exposed since lying to her disgusted him.

James had encounters with four women while married to Bullock. He stated that sleeping with his mistresses made him feel terrible, and that he had self-destructed his life.

“When I was doing it, you know, one, I knew it was horrible, it made me feel horrible. And two, I knew I would get caught eventually, and I think I wanted to get caught,” he says in an interview that will run on ABC’s “Nightline” on Tuesday night.”

“I don’t think I know for a fact now what it was, you know. I mean, it was me trying to self-sabotage my life,” he said.

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James admitted that he knows his wife will divorce him, but that the world has been harsher on him than his scorned wife.

Parts of the interview, which was James’ first since the controversy broke, aired on “Good Morning America,” and the remainder will run on “Nightline” on Tuesday night.

“It’s still hard for me to talk about, a little bit, because I still really love her and care about her,” he says. “I’ve spent my whole life with the kids and with her trying to … protect her from everything, but the most hurt she’s ever been caused is by the person that wanted to protect her,” James continues. “It’s terrible, and she’s going to be hurt for a long time.”

“I took a pretty amazing life and marriage … and threw it away,” James acknowledges in a previous preview for the episode.

Bullock announced her divorce from her spouse of nearly five years a month before James’ interview. She’s disclosed that she’s adopted a baby boy called Louis and relocated to New Orleans.

The 45-year-old actress won the best-actress Oscar on March 7 for her part in “The Blind Side,” and allegations that James had been cheating on her surfaced only days later.

After five years of marriage, the couple divorced in March. Bullock’s divorce papers were filed in April in Austin, Texas, where she lives.

James will also discuss if Bullock was aware of his indiscretions, why he went to rehab, and what role – if any – he would have in the life of Bullock’s adoptive son, Louis, in the Nightline interview.