“I’ve seen behind the curtain, I’ve seen the business model; I know how this operation runs. … I don’t want to be part of this.”
That’s how Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, described life as a royal.
Even before he met and married Meghan Markle, Prince Harry was open about his disdain for being a member of the royal family.
When Prince Harry appeared on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast with co-host Monica Padman on Thursday, he was candid about his life as a royal and his relationship with Meghan Markle. The Duke of Sussex also went back in time to when he was still in the United Kingdom and expressed his dissatisfaction with the monarchy.
Ms Padman recalled Harry’s visits to Commonwealth state members, saying he met people who were “much worse situation than you, but you were in a horrible situation too, and had to put on a smile and walk around and be the person comforting.”
“It’s the job, grin and bear it, get on with it,” replied the Duke of Sussex.
“In my early 20s, it was the case of ‘I don’t want this job, I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be doing this, look what it did to my mum.
“‘How am I ever going to settle down and have a wife and a family when I know it’s going to happen again.
“‘Because I know, I’ve seen behind the curtain, I’ve seen the business model, I know how this operation runs and how it works, and I don’t want to be part of this’.”
Harry stated that therapy helped him to “pluck his head out of the sand.”
“When I started doing therapy, suddenly it was like the bubble burst,” he continued.
“I plucked my head out of the sand, gave a good shake off, and I was like ‘OK, you are in this position of privilege, stop complaining or stop thinking as though you want something different.
“‘Make this different, because you can’t get out.
“‘So how are you do this differently, how are you going to make your mum proud, how are you going to use your platform to really affect change and be able to give people the confidence to be able to change their lives’.
“It was interesting because now, looking back… of course at the time there was lack of awareness, but there was just a glimmer of awareness, now looking back at it, I realised that helping people helped me.
“And when I created the Invictus Games for instance, for wounded servicemen and women from, what now, 20 different countries, when I started it I was ‘I am going to create this platform because I know that sport rehabilitates people, both physically and emotionally and mentally’.
“But once I started doing it, once I started seeing the progress and impact, suddenly I was like ‘wow, healing other people heals me’.
For about 80 minutes, the husband of Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, spoke about the equalizing effect of serving in the military (he flew a helicopter during two tours in Afghanistan), his ongoing issues with the paparazzi, and the benefits he has reaped from therapy.
“I didn’t acknowledge that, clearly, what happened to me when I was 12 years old, losing my mum and all the other pieces that happened, the traumatic experiences that happened to me since then, I didn’t acknowledge that perhaps I need to deal with this,” Harry said. “I need to process this because if I don’t, how the hell am I going to be a decent father to my son and my daughter?”
When Shepard asked what prompted Harry to seek therapy, he replied, “It was a moment with my now-wife. She saw it, she saw it straightaway. She could tell that I was hurting and that some of the stuff that was out of my control was making me really angry. It would make my blood boil.”
He cited three instances in which feelings of helplessness triggered his anger response: “One, when I was a kid in the back of the car with my mum, being chased by paparazzi. Two was in Afghanistan, in an Apache helicopter. And then the third one was with my wife. … Yeah, feeling helpless hurts. It really hurts.”
The Duke of Sussex was cautious because he believed that the privilege and attention that came with being a royal had ruined his mother, Princess Diana. Prince Harry stated that he did not want to build his own family on the same foundation as his parents.
Prince Harry’s revelation came as no surprise. It’s no secret that he was dissatisfied with being a member of the royal family.
Prince Harry spoke with royal biographer Angela Levin in 2017. During their conversations, he stated that “no one in the Royal Family wants to be King or Queen.” He also admitted that he had spent years kicking his heels and did not want to grow up, according to the Daily Mail.
Shepard compared the royal family’s level of scrutiny to Peter Weir’s film “The Truman Show,” in which every moment of a man’s life is broadcast without his knowledge or consent.
“Yup, a mix between ‘The Truman Show’ and being in a zoo,” Harry explained.
