The interview between Meghan Markle and Prince Harry with Oprah Winfrey on March 7th was jaw-dropping.

Meghan Markle’s highly anticipated chat, in which she discussed the mental health difficulties she faced during her time as a Royal, drew millions of viewers from across the world.

Meghan Markle said during the highly emotional interview that the deluge of harassment she faced as a member of the royal family drove her to a mental “breaking point,” and that she sought assistance for suicide ideation but that “nothing was ever done.”

The most heartbreaking part of the interview came when Markle revealed how the racist treatment she received from UK tabloids while pregnant, as well as the lack of support she received from the royal family and the team of people working at the palace, led to suicidal ideation.

“Look, I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he has suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, then I would do it,” Markle said of her suicidal thoughts. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought.”

“And I remember how [Harry] just cradled me and I was, I went to the institution and said that I needed to go somewhere to get help, said that I’ve never felt this way before and I need to go somewhere, and they said I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t be good for the institution.”

She said she was denied help within the Palace as well as not allowed to seek assistance outside of it. Prince Harry, her husband, echoed her sentiments.

When she formally joined the family, her eyes were soon opened, and she was exposed to horrible treatment not just by the media, but also by members of her new family.

“Yeah, there was [a breaking point],” Markle said to Winfrey. “I just didn’t see a solution. I would sit up at night, and I was just like, ‘I don’t understand how all of this is being churned out’—and again I wasn’t seeing it—but it’s almost worse when you feel it through the expression of my mom or my friends or them calling me crying like, ‘Meg, they’re not protecting you.’ And I realized it was all happening just because I was breathing.”

Meghan talked about how she felt about the Palace seeing her interview and speaking up for the first time about her experiences working there in previews for the interview. She told Oprah what had been rumored for years: that the Palace was involved in the British tabloids’ years-long smear campaign against her and her husband, Prince Harry.

“I don’t know how they could expect that after all of this time, we would still just be silent if there was an active role that the Firm is playing in perpetuating falsehoods about us,” Meghan said. “And if that comes with risk of losing things, I mean, I’ve—there’s a lot that’s been lost already.”

At different times throughout the conversation, Winfrey read articles about Meghan and inquired about the mental health implications. Meghan answered that she had suicide thoughts and sought aid from the palace’s human resources department, but that they were unable to help her.

Victoria Arbiter, a Royals pundit, described the Royal Household’s HR department as “just like at any other company”

“There is a human resources department because they have a responsibility to protect the staff and to make sure that everything is being done in an ethically moral fashion, just like any business,” Ms Arbiter told Vox.

“I think Meghan was sort of looking for help wherever she could find it. That was one area where the door was closed.”