Dymocks, an Australian bookstore, is donating its rapidly expanding inventory of Meghan Markle’s new children’s book to help alleviate Melbourne’s current toilet paper crisis, DBT reports.

Carol Flinders, Dymocks’ head of retail, adds, “We’ve already tried slashing the prices of the book to no avail. Nobody wants it”.

The Bench is a story about a father and son’s enduring relationship, as seen through the eyes of a mother.

However, many have panned it, calling it a “vanity project” that should have been maintained inside the family.

Around 200,000 copies of the books will be sent to Coles and Woolworths shops around Melbourne by Dymocks.

“We just want to see these books being put to good use,” says Carol Flinders. “The paper stock used in the books isn’t as soft as regular toilet paper, but it will do the job.”

Some Victorian customers, however, told DBT that they would not use Meghan Markle’s book as toilet paper.

“No chance,” said one man. “I’d much prefer to use my own hand.”

REVIEWS

Following its release on June 8, the book received a flurry of reviews, many of which were scathing.

On Amazon, for example, while The Bench has a lot of favorable ratings, but it also has a lot of individuals who awarded it one star. Many critics express dissatisfaction with Meghan’s writing style and the book’s lack of excitement for children.

Claire Allfree of the Telegraph described it as a “semi-literate vanity project.” “One wonders how any publisher thought fit to publish this grammar-defying set of badly rhyming cod homilies, let alone think any child anywhere would want to read it,” she said.

At the same time, Alex O’Connell of The New York Times published a harsh review. “You half wonder if the writing job was delegated to a piece of furniture,” he said of the story, which was “lacking in action and jeopardy.”

“It reads as if it has been penned as a self-help manual for needy parents rather than as a story to entertain small kids,” O’Connell writes.

Meghan is also chastised by the arts editor for putting a ‘therapy couch’ designed for adults at the heart of the book, rather than a narrative about ‘darkness and light’ for children under the age of seven.

“It lacks the crucial ingredients for a successful tale for this age group: a good story and basic rhythm.

“Inevitably, spotting the roman à clef becomes the main point of interest for adult readers.”