Lisa Brennan-Jobs, the 40-year-old daughter of late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, is grateful that she didn’t write her memoir about growing up in her father’s shadow in her 20s.
Reflecting on her life in Brooklyn with her husband, Bill, and their four-month-old son, Thomas, she believes that the passage of time has allowed her to better understand her story and her relationship with her father.
Steve Jobs, who passed away eight years ago from pancreatic cancer, had a child with his high school sweetheart, Chrisann Brennan, when they were in their early 20s.
He later became embroiled in a lawsuit for child support, a controversy that still haunts his legacy.
Brennan-Jobs knows that her father’s fame plays a role in people’s interest in her, but she has grown weary of the constant assumptions and judgments from strangers.
She admits that, in the past, she sought self-pity because she felt ashamed of having a father who didn’t seem to love her or even acknowledge her as his daughter.
However, she has since moved beyond those feelings, crediting both her age and the process of writing her memoir.
Brennan-Jobs struggled for years to reconcile with her father’s lack of affection, wondering if she was somehow not enough for him to claim as his own.
In her memoir, Brennan-Jobs details her complicated and often fraught relationship with her father.
Their relationship was characterized by Jobs’ denial of his daughter, even after a DNA test confirmed her paternity.
At various points throughout her life, Jobs would come in and out of her life, causing emotional turmoil and confusion.
She eventually moved in with Jobs during her teenage years, but their relationship remained unstable.
Brennan-Jobs shares many instances of her father’s unkind behavior, which she now believes were the result of his awkwardness and inability to express his feelings.
Jobs’ personal life was also marked by instability and failure during her childhood, including a tumultuous relationship with his then-girlfriend, Tina.
Brennan-Jobs recalls her father’s delight in his work at Apple, which seemed to be the only thing he truly enjoyed.
Looking back, Brennan-Jobs realizes that her father’s ability to engage with her and her mother was tied to his success at Apple.
She now sees herself as someone who inadvertently wished for her father’s failure, so that he would be more open to family life.
Despite this realization, she never actually wished for his failure, but instead longed for a closer, more normal relationship with him.
Brennan-Jobs has come to terms with the fact that her father didn’t know how to be present in her life or that of her three half-siblings.
She acknowledges that she wanted her father to be more attentive and caring, but he struggled to step out of the spotlight and be a supportive parent.
