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Meghan didn’t kill herself because she didn’t want Harry to lose another important woman in his life

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle attend an event, at Royal Albert Hall on Jan. 16, 2019 in London, after Meghan detailed to the prince the depths of her despair. (Paul Grover/Getty Images)

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Meghan didn’t kill herself because she didn’t want Harry to lose another important woman in his life

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Meghan Markle told Prince Harry she wanted to commit suicide less than a year before their shocking split from the royal family, just months into her first pregnancy, but she wouldn’t because she didn’t want to hurt him.

“The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby,” Harry said in a new docuseries that premiered on Friday.

“The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it.’ She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.”

Right before they were set to attend a charitable fundraiser at the Royal Albert Hall in London, Harry said Meghan (the Duchess of Sussex) told him she was considering suicide.

“Meghan was struggling,” he said. “People have seen the photograph of us, you know, squeezing each other’s hands as we walked into the Royal Albert Hall in London for a charity event. She was 6 months pregnant at the time. What perhaps people don’t understand is, earlier that evening, Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life.”

“I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with it,” he said. “And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle, and then we had to get changed and had to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event and then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s OK.

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“There wasn’t an option to say, ‘You know what? Tonight we’re not going to go.’ Because just imagine the stories that come from that.”

“While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,” Harry said. “I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family. Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.”

During the docu-series The Me You Can’t See, which he co-created with Oprah Winfrey, Prince Harry discussed one of his wife’s most painful times.

According to Harry, the Duchess could not act on her feelings because she believed it would be “unfair” to him.

During the Sussexes’ historic interview with Oprah, which aired in the United States on March 7, Meghan admitted she was grappling with her mental health.

She remembered having to deal with public attention and ridicule to the point that she “didn’t want to be alive anymore” according to the US journalist.

She said to Oprah: “And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought.

“And I remember — I remember how he just cradled me.”

When she told him she was depressed in January 2019, they had just been together for less than a year and she was pregnant with their son Archie.

 

‘The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life — with a baby inside of her, our baby,’ Harry said.

‘The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t “lost it.” She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.’

Harry said that he was unsure how to react to her confession. ‘I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them,’ he admitted.

‘And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s okay.

‘There wasn’t an option to say, “you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go” because just imagine the stories that come from that.’

He described the night as a “revelation” for him. He realized they couldn’t keep doing it the way they were.

‘While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,’ Harry said.

‘I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family.

‘Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.

‘I then had a son who I’d far rather be solely focused on, rather than every time I look into his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I’m going to have to look after him myself.’

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Louise Johnson

    May 23, 2021 at 9:06 am

    I find his comments amazing. I have dealt with a family member who was suicidal and there is no way a cuddle then get dressed but your face on and smile for others would’ve been something they could’ve done. Royals have cried off engagements before due to illness. Why couldn’t they? Then Harry says like others his age he knew he wasn’t gonna get from his family what he needed. That said I question if he ever asked. If you believe you’re not going to get what you want why bother asking. So is it fair to use the words he did which amounted to the royals being uncaring and neglectful but was Harry not also neglectful dragging her to an event while she wanted to die! I know my relative was unable to turn on and off the tears dependent on where they were or who was there so there must’ve been a level of control by Meghan.

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