We must stress that Charlie Sheen is not pleased with Rihanna.

After Rihanna declined to meet his girlfriend Scottine Sheen while she was eating at a restaurant, Sheen launched an irrational Twitter tantrum.

“So, I took my gal out to dinner last night with her best friends for her Bday. We heard Rihanna was present as well,” he said in his signature “tweet poem” format.

“I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancee Scotty to her, as she is a huge fan. (Personally I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup at gunpoint.)”

The post added: “Well, the word we received back was that there were too many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time. At this time? AT THIS TIME?? Lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random 11 million to 1 encounter with her some other night…?”

He went on about the singer’s lack of “respect for those who’ve gone before you”, ostensibly making reference to his own extensive, though not always smooth, Hollywood career.

He compares meeting her to chugging Draino and says he’s glad he didn’t, but he sure had a lot to say about the non-meeting.

Furthermore, he wasn’t very polite about it.

Charlie was extremely mean and personal, even making remarks about Rihanna’s appearance.

Sheen then started teaching Rihanna the value of decency.

“you see THIS is the reason that I ALWAYS take the time. THIS is why I’m in this thing 31 awesome years. Good will and common courtesy, carefully established over time to exist radically in concert with a code of gratitude!,” he wrote before adding, “I guess ‘Talk That Talk’ was just a big ol lie from a big ol liar.”

As if that weren’t enough, Charlie also used the opportunity to criticize RiRi’s most recent hairdo. “oh and Riahnna, Halloween isn’t for a while. but good on you for testing out your costume in public. it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer, as in: none.”

He didn’t stop there, though: “See ya on the way down, (we always do) and actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you. clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who’ve gone before you. I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant.”

He didn’t, however, stop there. “Here’s a tip from a real vet of this terrain,” he concluded. “If ya don’t wanna get bothered DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! And if this ‘Prison of Fame’ is soooooo unnerving and difficult, then QUIT, junior!”

Rihanna responded to Charlie Sheen’s initial tweet on Twitter, saying “If that old queen don’t get ha diapers out of a bunch…”

Charlie escalated the situation to an even worse level in his surprising reaction to TMZ, making a declaration in the same poetic style he did for his first Twitter outburst.

Dear Ms. Rihan-
  oh wait, no last name,
  Okay, Dear R –
clearly English is NOT
your primary language.

Firstly I want to thank you for recognizing me as Royalty. I’m flattered.
And secondly;
do the good Queen a favor and go tend to the dungeon in my Castle.
But beware of the
rats and the snakes.
They stir with folly
awaiting your tepid advance,
in the shadows…”;

later Doosh!
cs”;

Rihanna has not yet responded to Charlie’s most recent statement, but we anticipate she will.

The full original tweet:

“so,
I took my gal out to dinner
last night with her best
friends for her Bday.
we heard Rihanna was present as well.
I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé
Scotty to her, as she is a
huge fan.

(personally I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint)

well, the word we received back was that there were too
many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.

At this time? AT THIS TIME??
lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random
11 million to 1 encounter
with her some other night…?

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and
“please kill me now”;
that I’d never get back.

My Gal, however,
was NOT OK with it.
Nice impression you
left behind, Bday or not.
Sorry we’re not KOOL enough
to warrant a blessing from
the Princess.
(or in this case
the Village idiot)

you see THIS is the reason
that I ALWAYS take the time.
THIS is why I’m in this thing
31 awesome years.
Good will and
common courtesy, carefully
established over time to exist radically in concert
with a code of gratitude!

I guess “Talk That Talk”;
was just a big ol lie from
a big ol liar.

oh and Riahnna,
Halloween isn’t for a while.
but good on you for testing out your costume in public.
it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer,
as in:
none.

See ya on the way down,
(we always do)
and actually,
it was a pleasure NOT
meeting you.
clearly we have NOTHING
in common when it comes
to respect for those who’ve
gone before you.
I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds
to situate that bad wig
before you left the restaurant.

Here’s a tip from a real vet
of this terrain;
If ya don’t wanna get bothered
DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!
and if this “Prison of Fame”;
is soooooooo unnerving and
difficult, then QUIT, junior!
c
#Hamateur”;